Mission Log

Mission Log: I, the intergalactic spy Zo'Gron, have just landed on the planet known as Earth. I am the first superior being ever to land on this planet, and soon I will begin investigating it. Our observations were correct: the atmosphere is breathable. We were also correct in inferring that the planet's inhabitants have only five senses. Thus, I have been able to avoid detection by using the ship's invisibility shields.
I find it odd that everyone flies their spaceships very close to the ground, and they seem to just leave their ships lying around when not in use. I landed my ship on the vacant roof of one of their buildings and changed into my invisibility suit. This planet is quite hot, though not unbearably so, and slipping into the cool and comfortable suit was a relief. Now it's time to investigate the building beneath me.

Mission Log: I have successfully infiltrated the building. The halls are empty and void of life, but I can detect the sound of someone speaking quietly. I follow the sound and find it coming from a very simple-looking door. It doesn't slide open, so it must be a primitive, manually-operated one. Just as I reach out to open the door, it opens. Surprised, I take a step back as a short, pale-skinned human (as we believe these creatures call themselves) walks into the hallway. It has a glob of something very dark perched on top of its head, and does a remarkable job of keeping it balanced there. It doesn't see me, of course, and continues down the hallway.
I manage to slip inside the door before it closes, finding myself in a smallish room with white walls. Arranged in rows and columns in the room are a number of small, flat surfaces with a human sitting behind each. I must say, they do look most peculiar. One of them looks inquisitively at the door, then shakes its head and turns back to what it was doing. Perhaps I did not enter the room as smoothly as I thought. I must be more careful; I can not let myself be discovered.
For now, though, I turn my attention back to the room. I notice a taller human standing at one end of the room. Of course, I automatically assume that it is a male, because it is twice as tall as the other humans in the room. Yet I wonder if these strange beings even have the three genders that we do. Perhaps this one is a leader holding some sort of council, or is a boss selecting candidates for a job. I will continue to observe them and see what they do.

Mission Log: I have been observing these creatures for a while, and not much seems to be happening. The tall, supposedly male human made a series of strange sounds, presumably conversing with the others in their language. Then the room went silent, and the tall one sat down. The smaller humans leaned over the surfaces in front of them and have hardly moved since.
I've decided to approach one in the hopes of determining what it is doing. This one has a light tan, almost yellow colored blob on its head, and from time to time it tangles one of its appendages in the blob. Most peculiar. I move silently over to it and take a look at the surface in front of it. The human moves some sort of stick over what looks like a dull, inanimate computer screen, covering it with strange marks. The computer doesn't seem to respond, but the human doesn't give it time to respond, either. An unresponsive computer? I am so surprised by this that I must have gasped, for the creature jumped slightly and glanced around. I must be more careful!

Mission Log: I moved away from the human and remain undetected. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay that way, though, because I'm starting to feel slightly warmer. That can only mean that the invisibility suit is running low on power. I curse myself by all the moons of Jupiter for forgetting to recharge it before setting out on this strange planet. I was too enthralled by the extraordinary things I was seeing to remember, and now must face the consequences. I'll have to hurry back to my ship and charge it back up before I can continue my mission.
By the Milky Way! A loud ringing sound just erupted and has shocked me almost senseless! I would like to know where it came from, and what it means, but the humans have leaped up and are dashing out the door. I somehow gather my senses and follow them out the door, curious to find out where they are going.

Mission Log: The hallway outside the room is now completely full of humans. I press myself against one of the walls and try not to let any of them touch me, but it's a hard feat. It is rather frightening to see so many of the creatures at once, making such a loud clamor and jostling and pushing each other. Gradually, however, the noise dies down and the crowd thins out.
I follow one of the humans down the hallway that leads back to where I landed my ship. Suddenly I feel the temperature in the hallway rise sharply – my suit's giving out! I can feel it flicker and finally disappear, and gasp as the heat of Earth's atmosphere bears down on me. The human in front of me turns around, but strangely, doesn't look surprised. Maybe I'm not reading its expression correctly, though.

Mission Log: The human talked to me! Actually talked to me! It said, “Oh hello, I didn't see you there,” in a perfect accent. This is most remarkable. I ask it how it knows my language, and it says that they all know it. Apparently everybody on Earth learns it in their schools! The human also tells me that this building is one of those schools. Now everything clicks into place. The taller human back in the room must have been the teacher. But I am still taken aback that the creature says this all rather matter-of-factly. I ask it why it wasn't surprised to see me, and it says . . .
It says that they have extraterrestrials here all the time. . . .